Grandma Fern turns 89 on Friday the 13th

We had the opportunity to go and spend about 30 minutes with grandma on her birthday. Usually Joi or David and Nancy take care of grandma and we don’t spend a lot of time with her. Joi and her family were enjoying a trip to Palmyra, New York and David and Nancy have been on their mission in Hong Kong for about six weeks so we were asked to go visit with her. I had wanted to go to Orem to get a pair of shoes so it worked out perfectly. I hated to go empty handed so I decided to make cupcakes. I also printed a picture of grandma with David and Nancy on the day they left for Hong Kong and put it in a clear frame that will stick on her fridge. I know that she doesn’t need anything so this seemed like a good idea.

When we got there she looked really surprised to see the cupcakes and candles. We got to sing to her and watch her blow out the candle that Andrew missed. See had a genuine smile on her face the whole time we were there. It felt really good to do that for her. We are going to try to make the effort to go and see her once a month. I really can’t image how lonely she must get. I figure it is the least we can do.

The Prophet Said to Plant a Garden, so That's Just What I Did!

It started with two tomato plants, a jalapeño and a sweet pepper. Then came the seed packets. I got yellow squash and zucchini. Those started to grow and the next thing I knew I was starting a garden. I planted all of my little babies out in the yard. The ground wasn’t even really prepared for a garden so my hopes were minimal. The plants seemed to be doing alright so while I was at Wal Mart I thought “a few more things might be fun.” I found out that the seed packets were on sale for ten cents!

I bought green onions, two types of water melons, radishes, sweet corn, green beans and yellow beans. I started the seeds in little cups on the back porch. The radishes were the first to sprout. The two beans were next. I saw a few little green onions and then the rest started coming. By this time I knew that my “garden area” wasn’t even close to being large enough.

I didn’t even plant the corn. I knew that it would get way too big. I lost quite a few of my plants once they were in the ground. I was down to half of my beans and only three squash and three zucchini. I also lost some of my green onions. They were so tiny. I felt like I was planting hairs. The tomatoes are doing well but my peppers are struggling.

Tonight was the big payoff. I have been caring for, watering and weeding my babies since May. Tonight we all enjoyed the first fruit of our labors. We had a fresh zucchini straight from our garden to put into Mignonne’s Citrus Chicken. Even the kids were excited to taste it and said it wasn’t bad.

In the next day or two we should be able to get our next zucchini. There are a lot of blossoms, but not all look like they are going to produce veggies. This has me confused. The yellow squash seems to be a little behind but the blooms are starting. The plants are getting gigantic. Those six plants have almost taken over my whole garden area.

The beans are doing well, some have had blossoms but I am still waiting for signs of the veggies.

I have at least 6-10 tomatoes in the works and tons of little yellow flowers. We have the potential to have tomatoes coming out of our ears.

I have 2-3 green onions that are looking really good. I won’t be able to have a whole bunch of onions but I will take what I can get.

The radishes are growing like crazy. How does one know when to pick a radish? I haven’t the first clue!

I have several watermelon plants but one seems to be much larger than all of the rest. I am not sure if I am going to let it continue since I know that it will get really large and it seems like it is a little late in the season.

My jalapeño plant has hardly grown at all (it is only 6-8 inches tall) but it has two of the cutest little peppers I have ever seen growing on it. One is almost an inch long and the other is just teeny tiny.

The green pepper is the one that has me the most worried. I see the start of one pepper but that is it. The flowers don’t seem to do much. They just whither away and don’t grow into veggies.

I think that even with just the one zucchini and the excitement of the kids watching the plants grow and mature, our efforts have been very worth while. The scary thing is I am out of room and have three types of pumpkins that need to be planted ASAP if I want to have them in time for Halloween. Where should I put them? How much lawn should we sacrifice for our garden? Only time will tell.

Beads Beads and More Beads

Jill Conder came to church wearing the cutest necklace from Buckle. I asked if I could borrow it so that I could copy the pattern. I made two necklaces following the pattern. One is pinks and greens the other is blues and blacks. I really like them.

My Baby Boy is Six

Where has the time gone? It doesn't seem that long ago that I was told I would be delivering that very night. I remember driving to the hospital holding Emma crying, wondering what I had done. Why was I going to be sharing my love? I didn't think that I wanted to have another child. It wasn't fair to her. It was too late at that point. (I will blame a lot of my feelings on pregnancy hormones.) I had my amnio and found out my big boy wasn't ready to be born. His lungs weren't ready. I was then scheduled for a c-section two weeks later. What a roller coaster. To think you are going to have a baby one night and then find out that he will be delivered via c-section two weeks later. Wow!

I will never forget the first time I looked at him (without being under the influence of drugs and pain meds) Heavenly Father flipped a love switch. I knew right away that I liked him. I liked him a lot. That hasn't changed. Even though Andrew has been a huge challenge and has earned his nickname Turd Boy, I have always had a very special bond with him. He still likes to snuggle in the mornings and always has a hug for me. He is very special to me. I am so glad that I have had him in my life for the past six years. I can't wait for all of the years to come.

To celebrate we went to dinner at IHOP with my parents. We then went to David and Nancy's clubhouse for cake and ice cream.......the cake....what can we say about the cake?

Andrew had seen a kitty litter cake on Good Things Utah. They made it for Halloween. He said he wanted one for his birthday. I let it slide. I figured he would forget about it. Boy was I wrong. That is the only cake that he wanted for his birthday. What's a mom to do? I made the cake. His poor dad couldn't even eat a bit. It actually tasted pretty good.

Andrew was given transformers, games and cars for his birthday. He got more than he needed, that's for sure. What can I say. It is fun to spoil my baby.

Easter 2007

Easter Has Come and Gone

The Easter festivities started on Saturday the 7th. We were invited to the neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt. This is the first year that we participated. They had three homes where they hid the eggs. One home was for little kids to four year olds. The second house was for five through seven year olds and the last house was for eight to eleven year olds. It was hard having the kids split up but we managed. I got to run back and forth in my high heeled sandals. I was wishing I had on my flip flops!

Everything was hidden in the back yards. There was candy thrown all over the lawn. Each child was able to get as much candy as they wanted but only 12 eggs. Each house had a large gold egg hidden as well. If you found it you won a prize. Early in the hunt Chandler Anderson found a shinny gold egg. We were all very excited for him. The other kids stopped looking for the gold egg. The host had told a few of the moms where she had hidden the gold egg and then realized that Chandler didn’t have the right egg. She was worried that one of the moms would tell their kid where to find it. At this point Ira Jack, our backdoor neighbor who had gotten to the hunt late, was reduced to tears. He didn’t know where his dad was, there weren’t any eggs left and he was very sad. Bart Coon, the primary president’s husband, started helping Ira find eggs. He had some kids give theirs to him. He still looked so sad. I whispered to Bart the location of the gold egg. He helped Ira find it. It made him so happy.

Of course both of my kids were bummed that they didn’t find the gold egg. They had a good time anyway. After the hunt was over donuts and juice was served. I was able to visit with some adults. I am really glad that we went and participated this year.

Sunday morning we woke up to rain. How is the Easter Bunny supposed to leave baskets in the rain? I didn’t know what to do. Luckily I had made up the baskets the night before. I went to the garage, got the baskets and hid them around the house. As we were getting ready for church the rain stopped. Nobody had found any of the baskets yet so the plan was to leave church and put them around the yard. Well right before we left as Andrew was getting his shoes on, he spotted Emma’s basket. It was all downhill from there. He took off trying to locate his own basket and ended up finding Paul and mine while he was at it. We snapped a couple of photos and then went off to church. We left after Sacrament and took some more pictures at home. We gathered everything up and headed to my mom and dads home.

Once we got there I mixed up the funeral potatoes, made deviled eggs and a fruit salad. I also brought the rolls and a cake. I feel like I spent a good amount of time in the kitchen. We had turkey and stuffing, ham, roast, scalloped potatoes, funeral potatoes, rolls, fruit salad, green salad, pasta salad, corn and roasted carrots. There were also three types of pie for dessert as well as a poppy seed cake and banana pudding. We ate until we thought we would burst. Then we had a spiritual thought from my dad and Paul and I had the kids open the resurrection eggs. After that we did another Easter Egg Hunt. It was CRAZY! I have never seen so many eggs and candies in all of my life. There were so many eggs that we couldn’t find places to put them all. We threw bowls of candy in the lawn. The kids came out smallest to tallest with a five second delay in-between. It was a mad dash for the candy. One egg that Lowell found even had $10 in it. The kids had to get an extra grocery bags to hold everything because their baskets were overflowing. It was all over and done with pretty quickly. The kids went inside and surveyed their goods. They had bubble tape and bubble blow. There were boiled eggs and filled eggs. They had Play-Doh and Tootsie Roll banks. I bet they had more candy than they did after Halloween. It was nuts.

We were glad to have spent the day with so many family members. I think it made it more fun and special. We had 20 people. Renee and Bruce, Becky and Charles, Rodger, Jennifer, Brandon and Talon, Paul, myself, Emma and Andrew, Michael, Jennifer, Abby, Lowell, and Cora and Nick, Angelee and baby Josh.

April 6th 2007 Ben and Andrea Sealed for Time and All Eternity

Friday April 6th was Ben and Andrea’s wedding. It was a beautiful spring day, just gorgeous. Paul and I left Andrew with Grandma Nancy and headed up to Salt Lake. We arrived and the first family we saw was Joanie and Landon. He had gotten so big! Then we got to see baby Josh. He is so cute and has beautiful blue eyes.

We went inside where I got to say hello to my aunt and uncle and grandma and grandpa. We stayed in the lobby for a little while. It was so crowded. There were over 60 weddings happening that day. We then decided it was time for us to go into the temple. After we got into our stockings we waited in a waiting room for what seemed like a long time. Then we went into the sealing room. It was beautiful. We waited again for a while and then Benjamin and his bride entered into the room.

The sealing was very sweet, but seemed to go too quickly. We then went out to the beautiful temple grounds and waited for the bride and groom to emerge. Once they did we took some group pictures on the steps of the temple. It is such an amazing building. By this time we were getting hungry so my dad, Paul, Nick, Angelee and I went across the street to a food court. We got our snack and then went back and waited for Emma and Andrew to arrive.

Nancy was kind enough to check them out of school and drive them all the way up to Salt Lake. Once the kids came we got them dressed up and went to the Joseph Smith Memorial Building for lunch. The food was so weird. I am very glad that we ate before.

Once we were done eating we stayed in the lobby where we spent time a lot of my mom’s cousins. It was nice to see them and to be able to show off the kids. Paul left to go home and study for a test and the kids and I stayed behind to visit some more. We then all went up to my parents house for some more family time. It was nice to see my grandma. It had been almost a year since I saw her last. I feel sad to think that these visits are going to come to an end one of these days. I got to play with Landon. Andrew decided that he like that baby. It was a great day with really nice, quality family time. I wish we could all be together more often.

Just another example of my obsession for crafts

Well I used to bead in high school. It was fun but as with all the other crafts that I take up I enjoyed buying supllies more than I enjoyed using them! I bought a shell necklace while we were in Puerto Vallarta that Andrew recently broke. I decided I would fix it and it all went down hill from there. I have started making beaded necklaces again. Above are a few examples. I have also been making placemat purses. I will have to post those another time.

Trying to get back into this!

I can't believe that I have neglected my poor little blog for more that six months.

The party came and went. We had fun but could have used more activities.

Autumn and Halloween were filled with activities from pumpkin patches to haunted train rides and field trips to pumpkin carving. The weather for trick-or-treating was chilly but good. The kids got tons of treats.

Thanksgiving was held at my parents. It was good. We saw Becky and Charles for the first time in years. He was on his best behavior.

The first week of December Paul and I had a fantastic little trip to Chicago. We got along really well. I loved the city, everything about it. We did some site seeing, shopping and we saw Wicked. It was the best musical that we have ever been to. I was able to see some beluga whales at the Shedd aquarium and we went to the top of the Hancock building. I hope that we get to go again. It was freezing while we were there so going in the spring would be nice.

Christmas Eve was also at my parents. We did the gift exchange, which I am convinced is a waste of money, but I got a great gift, a George Foreman grilling machine. My brother got the shaft, However, I am sure my mom made it right. She always does.

We had a great Christmas. My parents came for part of the morning and then later we went to David and Nancy's for our traditional fondue dinner. I think that everyone got what they wanted from Santa.

Not too long after Christmas we found out that this was the last year that Emma will be believing in Santa. It is a bit of a relief and yet a sad thing at the same time. I don't think that she was willing to ask questions before Christmas and risk not getting her gifts. When she asked after Christmas if Santa was real I told her "yes, he is sitting right over there" and pointed to Paul. Her face lit up and she got so excited. I told her I was Mrs. Claus. She was giggling so much. Then she started asking about all of the things I had put in her stocking. She kept saying "so you got that?" I explained that she had to keep the secret from her brother and cousins. She agreed.

After Christmas Paul and I had the chance to go to the temple and do the work for an old boyfriend of mine that had passed eleven years earlier. It was such a need experience. I knew during the baptism that we had done the right thing.

New Year's Eve was fun. We had sea food again. I think that this will become a fun family tradition. I know I like it. My uncle and brother put on quite the illegal fireworks show. My dad had warned the neighbors so at midnight the phone rang and my aunt heard a voice on the answering machine saying it was the sheriff, there had been complaints and that he would come over in the morning to talk about the fine. She didn't know that the voice was really my parents home teacher playing a joke. She was freaking out.

There has been a lot of drama at work because I took a personal leave for the holidays. This resulted in me not going back to work until mid-January. It was nice having the extra time off, but I realized that we need my income to survive. I ended up writing a letter to the general manager stating all of the things that I had felt that Justin had done. Some of it was really serious. We had a meeting, all three of us and talked about everything face to face. It was a bit awkward. I think that a lot of hurtful things were said but the work environment has become a lot better since. I am sure there are still feelings that are hurt but I think it was for the best. I have now been working my max amount of availability and I am tired. Very tired and burnt out. I am waiting for my first check over $200 for the this year.

We had a good Valentine's Day. We did our traditional heart shaped pizza and all of the fixins. The table was decorated adorably and we had balloons and flowers from Paul. I got to help in Emma's class at school. We made "Love Bugs" It was a pixie stix with heart shaped wings, googley eyes, antennas and stickers.

For Presidents Day weekend we went for an overnighter to Moab. What a fun place! We loved it. The weather was perfect, in the 50's. We were able to hike in long sleeves. We got there in the afternoon and started going to each of the famous landmarks in Arches National Park. The kids did great hiking around and loved touching the formations. We took a lot of pictures and stayed until it was almost dark. After it was dark we went into town all grubby and had dinner at a Mexican restaurant. Then we ran across the street and got the kids an ice cream. We went back to the Motel 8 and got cleaned up. Our room was soooo hot. We couldn't get it to cool down. We didn't have the best rest so we got up at a good time in the morning, had breakfast and hit the shops in town. We got the kids some little souvenirs and I got a Christmas tree ornament. We went back to the park and stayed again until is was almost dark and then made our way home.

For St. Patrick's day we went to BYU and I discovered the wonder of the Creamery's Ice Cream. It is the best! I can't stop thinking about Sparkle, my favorite flavor. We spent some time in the Bean museum again. We went home and had a green dinner. We had green chicken (creamy pesto chicken) green rolls, green grapes and it was all eaten on a really cute, very green, table.

Tomorrow is April. The trees have blossoms, the daffodils are up, we moved the lawn for the first time and tulips will be everywhere in just a matter of days. The thing I find hard to believe is that my baby will turn six in just 11 days. Where does time go? I love him so much. He can be a challenge but he is oh so worth it. Even though he is getting all grown up he still wants to snuggle with his momma every morning.

That is the last six months in a nut shell.

I Hate Parties but I love My Little Girl!

Last year Emma started asking why she couldn’t have a "friend" birthday party. We told her she could when she turned eight. Well her 8th birthday is right around the corner. Sigh…

We were going to have a party at the Build a Bear Workshop. We thought she could pick four friends, build a bear, open gifts and be done. The store doesn’t open until September 15th and won’t be ready for parties until after her birthday. So we scratched that idea.

We decided to have a girl party in our backyard (we won’t even talk about how much work our yard needs) Emma wanted a princess party, not a Disney Princess party, just a princess party. Do you know how hard it is to find generic princess stuff? It is very difficult indeed.

I had found some cute pink girly Lisa Frank things and plain pink plates, napkins and cups at the dollar store. When I showed them to her I could tell it was not what she had planned on. I hated to spend tons of money on fancy paper goods that would end up in the garbage. I was back to square one.

I searched the internet and finally found everything I think we need to make Emma’s party the one she has always wanted. $100 later we will have a tiara piñata, a crown that you get to put glitter glue and jewels on, a balloon relay race with a prize in the balloons, organza gift bags with beads, glass slippers, stickers, eraser, pencil, lip gloss or body glitter in them, princess loot bags to put the piñata candy in, a centerpiece, banner and mylar balloon to pull the plain pink and princess theme together. I hope she loves it.

The trick now is getting the invite list narrowed down. Each and every day she has new people that she wants to invite. A lot of these kids I don’t know. I don’t know where they live or how to get their invitations to them. I am worried about hurting some girls’ feelings. I am worried that there won’t be enough kids that show up. I want this to be a perfect day for her. I think I should start praying now for good weather and a good turnout.

The First Day of Kindergarten

Kindergarten, my baby has started kindergarten.

I had wondered all summer long how I would react to Andrew’s first day of school. Before school started went to meet his teacher, I was fine. We went to the one on one kindergarten evaluation, I still felt fine. Then it came, the actual first day. He was so excited. He got dressed early and could hardly wait to go. I was still fine, actually excited about having a few hours to myself. We got in the car. I started driving toward the school. Then I saw the huge school bus with a handful of tiny little heads. They were barely able to see out the window and that is when it hit me. The tears came; there was nothing I could do to hold them in. He is still so little, and yet so excited to be testing his wings.

I couldn’t help it. I passed judgment on those moms that put their child on the bus for the first day of school. How could they not be there to make sure their child knew where to go? When I got to Grovecrest I was humbled. Those moms are brilliant. They put their child on the bus, and then raced to school in their car so that they could get pictures of their kids arriving at the school and getting off the bus. Duh! Why didn’t anyone tell me?

Once we got to the school Andrew headed right to the line. He was done with pictures and pretty much done with mom and dad. He did give me a big huge courtesy hug and some kisses before they headed into the school.

I went back when school was out to make sure that he knew where to look for Emma and which bus to get on. When he saw me he came running, he was so excited to see me! He still loved and needed his mommy! He met up with Emma and they gave each other the biggest hug ever. It was so cute. They really do love each other. They both got on the bus. I raced home and met them at the corner when they got off of the bus. It was a great day.

My Latest Crafting Obsession

Over the long weekend I finished my second quilt. It is one I will leave out as a decoration for Autumn/Halloween. This one went faster because I used 9.5 inch squares instead of 6 inch. I would guess it is about the size of a full sized bed. It still has a lot of the strings on it. I need to wash it at least once more. It was a lot of fun but I really rushed to get it done. My shoulders ache from the cutting and clipping. I think the next one will take me more than three days.

Emma wants me to make her one, since the first one (the pink and green one) that she thought was for her turned out so small. We got the butterflies and hot pink fabric for her. She practiced sewing this weekend and is trying to decide if she wants to make it all by herself!
I have decided to wait on the kids clothes quilt. I want to make a girl one and a boy one, so they match a little better. I don’t think I have enough stuff yet to do them as large as I would like. I will just have to be patient.

I love the idea of a sturdy denim picnic blanket so I chose some Americana fabric to use with the denim that we have. I want to make it with the blue stars, deep red (it shows up pinkish in the photo, it isn’t. It is more of a burgundy) and denim on top with solid denim on the back. I am excited to get started, but it might be a little while before I finish it. It will not be on display and picnic season is coming to a close soon.

3rd Grade

Today was the first day of school. I think we were all pretty anxious. We were all awake and out of bed before the alarm went off. That never happens.

Last night I got all of Emma's clothes ready for her to wear. She wanted to wear her soft comfy dress. I got it all steamed, polished her shoes and packed as much of her lunch as I could. I wrote her name on the inside of her lunch box and on the boxes of her markers, crayons and colored pencils. We were set.

She allowed me to drive her to school even though I think she wanted to get on the bus as it went past our house. We took the pictures out front like we have done every other year. She was excited and nervous. She looked adorable. We dropped her off and there she went, into a sea of other kids all looking lost and yet still excited.

I can't believe that my baby is in the 3rd grade! Where does time go? I pray and hope that this is one of Emma's best school years, that she will make a lot of friends, and lover her teacher.

The Lagoon Miracle

The journaling reads:

Andrew was upset that he wasn't tall enough to go on a ride called the Rocket. He threw a fit when my mom and Emma decided to go on it. He got so worked up (and it was *hot*) that he started to get too warm and was turning really red.

When they were done with the ride my mom went and sat on the edge of a planter box in the shade and I went to get some Icee’s. When I got back my mom said that Andrew had been bitten by something and showed me a big welt on his arm. We soothed it by putting the cold drink on his arm and all was well.

We decided to ride on the bumper cars. While we were getting in the cars just a few minutes later he said "I feel like I got another bite on my shoulder" I looked and there was a wasp on the inside of his shirt! I about crapped my pants. I was trying to turn his shirt inside out and get it off of him without getting a bite myself. I got it out and it went up hi neck and started walking up his head. I flicked it off of him and got us in the car before I told him he had a wasp bite. He was really brave but sad and in pain.

We told him that he could play one of the midway games to help him feel better. There was a table full of holes that he had to get a ball in. 95% were white then there were a couple of blue and green ones and right in the center a red hole. He said that he wanted the big orange snake. We told him “you know you won’t win right?” Right after we said that he threw his third ball. It went right in the red center hole! He won the jumbo prize. He got his 20 ft long orange snake!
He was so proud carrying that huge thing out of the park.

More pages made with templates

This is really helping me get stuff done. I love it. I have a whole folder of new ones that I can't wait to use.

Cousins

I am loving the templates that designers are making these days. How cute is this page?!? I thought I was going to loose it while I was putting in the last shadow, but Paul came to the rescue and was able to save it. I was so happy. I had customized all of the colors and I knew it would never look the same if I had to start over.

To Cut or Not to Cut

That is the question!

I got my hair cut really short almost a year ago. While I liked it I didn't feel as feminine with it short. It was cute for a minute, but it would need to be trimmed way too often to make it stay cute. Moral to my story……it is way to hard to maintain.

I have been growing out this past year with visions of sexy, long, flowing hair. In reality I get long, heavy stringy hair.

It is always in a pony tail. Not very sexy. Paul does like it when it is longer, but always loves it when it is short too.

I found a photo that I love. I had decided to let it grow one more year, but dang I love this photo. I have found with as heavy as my hair is, the longer it gets the flatter it lays. What's a girl to do?

Swimming Lessons

I had to do another page. I feel like I am on a roll! Maybe I have broken through the creative block that I have had. I sure hope so. There are a lot of photos that I need to scrap.

How cute are they?!?

This is a page that I just did of Emma and her teacher Jeremy. This was taken on the last day of her swimming lessons. I just love this photo. They both look so happy.

Happy Campers!

Here are the last two pages. I took the easy way out and stuck the rest of the photos all on two pages. It works for me!

Shhh don't tell, I scraplifted this layout!

I scraplifted someone's layout and started scrapping my camping pictures. I haven't done any pages for so long, it felt good to see something finished. I am going to continue the same basic layout for the rest of the pictures. Keeping it simple will give me a better chance of getting it done!

Camping at Timpooneke

Wednesday night Paul and I rode up to Timpooneke with Roland while the kids rode with grandma and grandpa. We secured two campsites for our weekend adventure. It was beautiful up there. There were so many types of summer wild flowers. It was great for me to be out in the fresh air. We saw a cute little bunny and got to run around and get out some energy. We set up the tents and left back for home excited for the weekend ahead.

Friday I spent most of the day preparing for our trip. Paul got home a little after 4:00pm and packed up the car. When we got to our site Roland already had the dutch oven dinner going. We set up camp and then I started my blackberry cobbler. Dinner was delicious. We had country ribs, veggies, potato salad, watermelon, and green salad. After dinner we had pineapple upside down cake that Roland made in a dutch oven and some birthday cake for David. My cobbler never got cooked through.

After dinner the kids had a blast exploring the forest. They found a mini waterfall and trails that led all around our camp. They managed to get pretty wet and muddy. Emma got into some stinging nettle. It made a rash on her leg but we iced it down and she survived.

As it got later, we built a fire, sat round visiting with one another and grandma told stories. We roasted marshmallows and made smores. Around 10:00pm it was time was to go to bed. We went and brushed our teeth and the water spigot and took turns using the outhouse.

We got settled down in the tent and only had to go to use the bathroom a few time throughout the night! Andrew got us up at least three times saying he had to go potty. We made him go outside the tent twice. There weren’t enough blankets so Paul and I shared. Each time I would adjust a burst of cold air would get into the blankets. I adjust a lot! He made me promise we would never share blanket again.

Morning came quickly after our last trip to the bathroom. I sat there feeling a bit cold watching the tent get brighter and brighter. I had just warmed myself up and fallen back to sleep when a drop of dew landed right on my forehead. I was awake again. Ugg! We had thought about staying over another night, but after almost no sleep we packed up and went home.

I bake my cobbler in the oven when we got home. It was alright, I won’t be making it again. I did some laundry and we took a nap. I think we will continue to be once a year campers, at least until we get sleeping bags and can get some better rest.

A new addition

I have so many emotions right now that I don’t even know where to begin. My brother called yesterday and asked if we could take his St. Bernard. He has only had her a few weeks, but with all their other dogs, she was just too much for them. Paul and I talked about it and decided to give it a try. We had met her before and thought she was pretty cool. They also said that they would help us find homes for our cat.

Well they found a home for one cat, but not the one that we really wanted to get rid of. Today we waited for the call to meet them and loaded Cossette into a box. We tried taping it but we only got a couple of blocks before she broke through the tape. She was doing the funny cat in a car meow, but was behaving rather well. She made her way up to my lap while I was driving and sat with me for a while. She was so sweet. She knew something was going on. She kept pressing her face on my hand and arm. I could tell she was marking me.

It reminded me of our move with her from St. George up to Pleasant Grove. I thought she would tear the kids up into pieces, but she just slept most of the way. She couldn’t have been better for the long drive.

I feel like I have betrayed her. I know that she wasn’t as happy here as she could have been if we didn’t have the other cats, but she was mine. We took her with the plans of keeping her and loving her forever. It breaks my heart to know that we gave up on her. It kills me to know that we still have Phantom here when I don’t like him at all.

We got to Cal Ranch where we were meeting to pick up Sophie. Cossette was sitting with the kids when we got there. She let me pick her right up and she went nicely into the cat carrier my mom had brought. They wanted to go into the store; I just wanted to get out of the situation. We went in a bought a crate. It is huge. With it in the back of the car Sophie had to ride in the front. She didn’t sit, she kept standing and turning. It is hard to drive when you can’t see out the back of the car and there is a huge dog trying to get in your lap.

We got home and let her out in the back yard. She sniffed all around and then we gave her a quick bath. We let her dry off outside and then decided we would take her in. She wanted to explore. I knew that she would, but I wasn’t *ready* for it. I could smell her. I saw her hair that she was shedding. I can’t believe that I gave up a small cat for a St. Bernard. What have I done?

We tried going for a walk. The kids were on their bikes so that Sophie and I could go faster. We got to the top of the little hill and Andrew took off down it. He didn’t have his feet on the pedals. I watched helpless and he picked up speed. Emma was in front of him; she dropped her scooter and stuck out her arms to intercept him as he raced towards her full speed. I was running as fast as I could but there was no way I could have done anything. Andrew crashed into Emma and they both went down.

Emma was fine but Andrew skinned his knee. He didn’t want to ride his bike ever again. He said he couldn’t walk. I couldn’t pick him up and carry him home like I would have wanted because I had a dog to worry about. Do I have enough energy and love to give to kids and a dog?

We got home and put a bandage on Andrew’s knee. I wanted to get Sophie used to our home so she could be more relaxed. She was in for a bit but she was eating the cat’s food, following me around, and going in all the bedrooms. I just don’t think I can handle this.

I called my mom to see if they had gotten home. No, they were still driving around with Cossette in a cat carrier in their car! I was horrified. I can’t believe they would leave her like that for hours. It hurts my heart. I would have driven her out to their house on my own if I had known that they were going to spend so much time with her stuck in a carrier. I have been bawling ever since. I just hate the thought of her in the back of their truck wondering why I did that to her.

Sophie is stuck outside, laying there probably wondering why everyone is ignoring her. I just don’t know what to do. I wish I could go back in time and never agree to this. I wish I knew yesterday just how crappy I would feel today. I went from a very small, almost no maintenance cat to a super sized high maintenance dog. What the hell do I do?

**************The Next Day*************

This is sooo not working
This is the email that I sent to Paul early this morning after Sophie came back home. He had opened the gate to take out the garbage cans and she ran away. He had to wake me up to tell me she was gone. I went out and called for her. I went in and called my mommy to see if I should call and tell Michael. While I was on the phone I saw her down the street. I called her name and she came back. She is now safely put away in our back yard again.

Sophie doesn’t seem as relaxed this morning. I don't know if it because of all the birdies in the morning, or what but she is walking around and just wont settle down. It is almost like she is looking for a way out. I am giving her too much credit? I really thought she would be tired after her morning run. She was panting pretty hard when I found her.I just don't know what to tell Michael. How long do we let this go? You know what it feels like? It reminds me of when the Alton's had that dog tied to their porch. I know it is better because she can walk around, but I remember them yelling ABBY! I hate to have our kids hear us yelling even more than we already do, you know what I mean? I hate that I can't get in and out of my back door or gate for that matter without yelling NO! I should be able to walk around my house and property when and how I want.I haven't seen any sign of the cats. I thought if I saw them in the field and I could try to get them to come to the front door, but no luck. I am worried about them. This is soooo not good.

After crying for 48 hours, waking up in the middle of the night with diarrhea, and missing work Wednesday night due to stress and my anxiety Paul and I made the decision that we couldn’t keep Sophie. I was so worried about her getting out of our gate while we were camping, worried about the cats not having a chance to come home and eat before we left, and just overall sick about the whole situation, that I decided that I needed to suck up my fears and drive her up to the shelter in Bountiful. I had not driven past Draper since we have lived here. I was nervous but knew that it was the only way to make myself feel better.

After talking to Michael about our decision I took a quick shower, loader her and the kids up and off we went. I made it without any problems. I filled out the paper work and we left. I felt bad doing it, but knew that it was the only choice I had. I have so much stress about things that I can’t control, that when there is something I can do to protect myself, I must do it. I didn’t know that all my financial concerns, all of my concerns with my parenting/work and concerns about Paul’s job security would fester and come out in the shape of a dog. She was the straw that broke this camel’s back. I just couldn’t have the stress at this time. It was making me sick.